Guest Blog: Reenie, Loving in a Foreign Language

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Lately I have been chewing on Love, and what that means to me, to my spouse, and to my children……

We all have the need to love and to be loved.

But is it as simple as saying,

 ”Ilove you?”

After reading,

          “The Five Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman ~ I think not……

1 Corinthians 13 is the well known “Love Chapter” read at weddings across the country, it speaks volumes on loving : what it is and what it is not. It actually encompasses all the ways to love someone.

Most people think that when they show love to someone it is recognized as just that – love.

What we often don’t realize it that there are many was to give and to receive love, and sometimes without recognizing it we often are speaking a different “love language” than what our listener understands.
We love people in many ways but most often, as is the case in languages, we speak OUR first language fluently and all others we must take the time to learn.

 Interestingly enough, our listener may think we are speaking a foreign language , BECAUSE it is not their first love language.

You can speak French flawlessly but if you are speaking it to someone who speaks English, it won’t matter that you are flawless, it is not understood, and often misinterpreted at best.

In his book, The Five Love Languages , Gary Chapman describes the different ways we communicate love to one another.

• Words of Affirmation,
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

 We most definitely use all the languages to express love, BUT we will have one that is our language of choice, the one that we use the most, AND expect others to communicate to us through.

Most couples in the infatuation stage express love and receive love without expectation, or disappointment, because it is all new and exciting. Once that same couple has passed the 2 – 3 year mark , infatuation now takes on a more solid form of love, and often too, the real work begins.

We don’t understand “Why” he did this or that . Why did she not see my need, how come she didn’t meet it ???

The problem isn’t always in not having eyes to see and ears to hear as much as it is the focus on what you see and what you hear. You look at loving through YOUR love language and it may or may not be that of your spouse.

Once you understand which love language you are fluent in, AND which love language your spouse is fluent in, things begin to make A LOT more sense….. the picture gets more clear. Strong relationships BECOME strong, it is actually work, and part of that work is loving someone in the way THEY can understand.

I don’t want to spoil the book, by rewriting it here; it’s a great read and very insightful, I would encourage you to get it and read it – what you learn about yourself and others may surprise you.     Blessings Reenie

“The in-love experience

does not focus on our own growth

or…

 on the growth and development of the other person.

 Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived

and that we do not need further growth.”

— Gary Chapman 

 

 

We ALL need to keep growing to keep loving.

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