When life is going better than expected, health is prime, that long-awaited baby is born, the job promotion is finally handed to you, you close on that 4 bedroom home, or …
~you get the idea.
That’s when the Eff word can creep in on us. Foreboding.
According to Brene Brown (research professor and author of four #1 New York Times bestsellers), we gracefully allow joy to wash over us and then five seconds later the excitement is gone and we’re panicked about a bad thing that’s going to happen to counter the positive.
When’s the other shoe going to drop?
Let’s stop asking that question. Let’s take both shoes off and go barefoot through this New Year. Let’s allow ourselves to actually feel everything… from the bottom of our barefoot sole to the top or our over-thinking monkey mind.
Brene gives us the most common example of foreboding. Read on and ask yourself if you’ve been in these shoes.
The shoes of the parent who has stood over that sleeping child and thought, Oh God, I love this kid more than I knew was possible, and in that same second felt fear wash over you and picture something horrible happening to your child?
Statistically, it’s about 90% of us.
My hand is up; I’m in that (top) 90%.
I’ve felt this; until now.
I’ve felt the need to prepare for the worst possible scenario. I say until now because I’m working on building up my gratitude bank; I know that worn notebook of mine, filled with a collection of awareness, living-in-the-moment, pieces of joy will build up my faith …and fill my emotional reserve with the vulnerability of joy.
Brene identifies joy as the most vulnerable emotion we feel; it’s an extremely fragile feeling …and that level of vulnerability can be frighteningly overwhelming. This is when our joy becomes foreboding (if we allow it to scare us).
It’s not a helpful practice (and certainly not a healthy habit) to feel joy and then allow ourselves to expect, or even plan for, disappointment.
We can’t possibly prepare ourselves for pain or disappointment by foreboding joy; the Universe doesn’t make deals like that.
We deserve joy, He created us to be joyful. Allowing ourselves to feel that ‘most vulnerable emotion’ and STAY IN IT is what helps to finance and prepare our emotional bank accounts.
We can’t be prepare for tragedy …ask anyone who has lived through such tragedy.
We can’t anticipate tragedy like we pay for flood insurance.
We can find assurance and build our resilience by practicing moments of gratitude and remembering to celebrate every. single. one. of. our. many. joyful. moments.
“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness–it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” ~ Brene Brown