What Are You Crying About?

 

I first saw reference 2 this subject in a Glamor Health and Fitness Blog http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2010/06/have-you-ever-burst-into-tears.html

Then followed it 2 here…

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/how-crying-can-make-you-healthier-1009169.html

I cry

I cry when I’m sad

I cry when I’m happy

I cry at reruns of Little House on the Prairie

I cry when I’m scared

I cry when my twin sister cries

I cry when I’m hurt

I cry when I’m frustrated

I eat when I’m bored (but that’s another blog)

I’ve been emotional since the day I was born.  Just like the rest of you, I cried the minute my eyes saw daylight.  Difference is…most of you have all since gained control over your emotions, specifically your tears.  Or have you?  I surely have not.  Just ask my husband, Jim.

The only person who gets more frustrated with my crying (than me) is the man who I married.  Yep, that’s right.  The man who vowed to love me till ‘death do us part’ leaves the room in the middle of a conversation/discussion/argument announcing, “I CAN’T TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE LIKE THIS!”  (A.K.A. crying).

Crying.  Is that a sign of weakness?  Does it tell the world that I am truly an emotional mess?  Or does it mean I’m just plain out of control?

Can’t control my own tears?  Frustrating ’cause I am a self-confessed control freak but when I can’t get a grip on those tear ducts I just get even more frustrated (embarrassed) and cry – you guessed it-even more. 

It’s much worse in public.  I’m not even a cute crier.  My nose gets red, not like a cherry, more like Rudolph.  I snort like Charlotte’s pig, Wilber and then I begin hyperventilating.

Can anyone relate?

My mother-n-law can relate.  That’s right, her son leaves the room but this woman sits next 2 me with a beautiful cross-stitched, hand-made, heirloom, hand-me-down comforting hankey.

Maybe it’s a gender thing?  Mom  understands me AND my emotional self.  That lovely woman told me that God saves all of our tears in a jar in Heaven.  (I actually thought that was Mom’s own creative prose till I Googled the phrase and discovered it’s straight from the Bible.)

If it’s not a gender issue then maybe it’s genetics. My sister, Donna is just as emotional, so is our mom.  One of my daughters has the ‘curse’ of weak tears ducts as well…the other one just makes fun of us. 

So, I’m wondering if I should consider this crying thing of mine a character flaw?  Should I be working on it?  I do thrive on projects. 

 Or maybe I could just look forward to the day that I get 2 see that tear jar in Heaven…I could take some pride in the fact that I may just have the biggest reservoir there!  Ahhh..happy tears!

Editors note…Not only am I a control freak AND possibly an emotional mess at times…I am also a bit competitive.

 

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About tuesday2

My husband tells me I talk too much. I tell him that I have a lot to say. Here’s the solution… Welcome to my blog!
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11 Responses to What Are You Crying About?

  1. You already know I can relate…and strangely enough, so can my twin, too!!! I bawl at everything, and at 53, have given up totally on thinking I will ever control it. If people don’t like my tearing up in the greeting card aisle, they don’t have to look at me….right???!!!! I also cry ugly…my nose has been compared to W.C Fields when I cry, not without reason….tough shit!!!! It is a part of who I am, and I have come to terms with it…mostly because I know I can’t control it, so I have no choice!!! Go ahead and cry Shelley…it is one of the things we love about you!!! I use the…………thing a lot, don’t I??!!!

    • tuesday2 says:

      Okay. From now on, everytime I walk past the greeting cards in Wegmans I’ll take a peek and see if I can find you over there bawling! I’ll probably just come over, start reading and surely join you! Perhaps it’s that twin club that we both belong to?

  2. Reenie Bovier says:

    Tears are not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of understanding. Often the older we get we understand ourselves more and yes with that understanding often comes some tears, as we : are touched by our humanness, our own pain , our own triumph,our own fears, and even our own happieness. Also the pain, triumph , fears and happieness of others around us. Tears are an instant reminder of how human we really are. As women we become more aware of ourselves and those around us as we age. We relate to others through an understanding of ourselves , it is possibly what makes us human. Does that mean that those who don’t shed a tear are not human ? Absolutly Not, but maybe they are still on a discovery of who they are in the arena of their own emotions, and the tears they don’t cry now , may be the ones they shed tomorrow . Do men cry, yes I believe they do,but sadly, not as freely as women. Possibly the fact that we go through the “change” allows us this freedom. Men also expierence their own “change” but instead of tears they are “exspected” to be “foolish”(probably a subject for another blog…) and that is socially acceptable – Just as a woman’s tear are acceptable (even though many men are uncomfortable with them …) Are we defined by the society in which we live, possibly. We cry because we understand, we understand because we are open to receive , and maybe that makes us all the stronger . So maybe you are one of the strongest women out there…..Why do some women cry more than others? Quite possibly they just understand more, or have an earlier awareness of themselves and others…… Icry a lot more than I used too, my kids are always saying Is SHE crying AGAIN ??? and I have to laugh with tears in my eyes- “maybe ” I say ” What is it to you ?” I think that those who condem anothers tears, are possibly afraid of their own feelings, awareness or just haven’t gotten “there ” yet ~ Thanks Shelley this has been very thought provoking ~ 🙂

    • tuesday2 says:

      Love it, Reenie! …You have always been full of good wisdom…even back in those high school days. (I just listen better now)

      P.S. Change is good! Sounds like you agree!

  3. Donna Culver says:

    Shelley,
    I too must join your club. It happens when I least expect it. It’s who I am. It happens when I am touched by an emotion that takes me by surprise like when Hannah (my grandaughter) cryed over her lost tickets at Chuck E Cheese. I can not handle the tears of anyone that touches my heart. I know there is a number of times when it just happens without warning and I sometimes feel foolish but it is who I am.
    You know Shelley it is an emotion that is sometimes triggered by a loved ones emotion and this may be the very reason your husband leaves the room. Maybe just maybe he really can’t handle your tears and it triggers an emotion in himself that he does not want you to see because men do cry.

    • tuesday2 says:

      Welcome to the club, Donna!

      So if/when you seeing me with that big red nose I know you’ll understand! (Be sure to tell me I look fine- o.k.?)

      True about the husband leaving the room! I know it hurts him to see me cry but usually (hard as the good guy tries) he just can’t make sense of me!

      …he does come back though! Everytime!

      • Donna Culver says:

        you look fine……. your husband always coming back is a good thing. You don’t want him to figure you out to soon.

  4. Pingback: Something to Cry About… (Or, like Mother Like Daughter) | Tuesday2's Blog

  5. wendy lowden says:

    Hey Shelley: Thanks for asking me to join in! This post caught my eye. I always thought my tears were a sign of weakness, and almost did not become a minister because I was afraid of what people would think if I didn’t control myself. Well, all three of my congregations know full well by now that I cry. Not always, but if we are all grieving together at a funeral, and are saying good-bye to one of our own, I admit to getting choked up during my eulogy more than once. Once, I got taken completely off guard, and was preaching on a topic that I had no idea touched me so much, and go choked up. And just ask Kathy about presiding at my own son’s wedding!
    My congregations have held me up and loved me. They love the fact that I show my emotions…that I am “human” and can be moved to tear. When I think about it, I haven’t been called a “cry-baby” in a long, long time.
    So I am proud of my tears…of wearing my “heart on my sleeve”. I add to that jar in heaven daily, I think, and am proud to do so!

    • tuesday2 says:

      Wendy, interesting that you should connect your gift to express your emotions with your career and question the compatibility; I do the same thing!

      As an elementary teacher I have often thought that I should not let my students (my kids) see me as anything but their stoic teacher. Not sure why I felt that way because ironically I have so much more respect for people that ARE able to show emotion (a.k.a.) cry.

      We all need to be a bit more human a bit more often!

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