Simon Says…

If you know me at all, you know that I am a self-proclaimed Control Freak

The Psychological Dynamics

That Fuel a Control Freak

So says Thomas J. Schumacher, Psy.D., R-CSW…

The need to control is almost always fueled by anxiety – though control freaks seldom recognize their fears. At work, they may worry about failure. In relationships, they may worry about not having their needs met. To keep this anxiety from overwhelming them, they try to control the people or things around them. They have a hard time with negotiation and compromise and they can’t stand imperfection. Needless to say, they are difficult to live with, work with and/or socialize with.

  

True.  That’s me. I am difficult.  I’m kinda working on it. 

Wait.  That’s a lie.

Actually I’m working on getting other people 2 just accept me.  As is.

 

My husband has completely surrendered 2 this personality perk of mine. 

My daughters grew up with it and will probably end up sharing memories of their imposed childhood rituals, rules, and regulations with their therapist one day. 

   -Not that they have a therapist -yet…  but you just know that my name is going to come up in those sessions.  One day.  Still. I will continue to defend the fact that you should never, not EVER mix the play dough colors.

I could probably change? .  If I wanted 2.

I’m told that life is much easier when you are not a control freak.  I hear that people who live in the moment actually enjoy life so much more!  They just go with the flow…

But I can’t take the chance. I could end up out of control and …..what if I never got it back? 

I need a plan…should I ever choose 2 change

Don’t get me wrong:

  •  I will continue 2 program my coffee maker to brew when I say so (3:47 a.m.)
  •  I will keep my programmable thermostat set 2 MY standard of comfort
  • I will maintain the sensor lights, assuring they turn on automatically when something or someone moves inside and outside the house

 

Back 2 making a plan-

I tried 2 make 2  lists, just 2 see what I may need 2 work on…

should I choose 2 change-

Glancing at analyzing  my alphabetized, prioritized lists…I quickly realized that I can’t actually control all of the things that I continue 2 try 2 control!  Ugggh- Who says so?

 

^Things I try 2 control … 

My emotions.  Everyday (and special) events.  All people, all of the time.

 

^Things I can’t possibly control… 

My emotions.  Everyday (and special) events.  All people, all of the time.

No wonder I’m so tired!  All of the time.

 

I am entertaining one final plan.  I could, maybe…for a day, (or 1/2 a day), let someone else be Simon.  Maybe.  IF it was their birthday -or something like that.  Maybe.

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About tuesday2

My husband tells me I talk too much. I tell him that I have a lot to say. Here’s the solution… Welcome to my blog!
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One Response to Simon Says…

  1. reenie says:

    Shelley, Fear is often the driving force behind many of our issues… Control and lack there of . Some people are so afraid they will become their parents they take the exact opposit approach to EVERYTHING. ( Sometimes they end up throwing the baby out with the bath water …). Fear is real and it is something we must deal with – from our childhood boogie monsters to the adult issues each of us face : fear of failure, fear of not being loved, fear of not having enough. Chances are your daughters therapy sessions (if they ever have them ) will not be about you , but rather about them…..(We mom’s give ourselves too much credit lol). Control is a word that some of us embrace and some of us run away from. There always has to be a leader, this is a great outlet for someone who likes to be in control. The followers – well they don’t like to be in control (which can have it’s own issues ). Self proffessed control freaks at least have an understanding of who they are, and where they are going….. and most likely they are leading the way in something. Control Freaks UNITE – but the debate on who will be the leader may ultimatly disban the group lol …….The Bible says 365 times “Fear not”- I guess that is one for each day of the year – so the only day you have any real “permission” to have any fear is leap year….lol But seriously when control drives our bus , we miss a lot of the fun stuff because we are trying to control all that we have in us and around us – and like you said it gets really exhausting after awhile …..Step away from the wheel and see where you end up – I know what you are already thinking Is she crazy I will end up in a ditch ! Well you may be right on that score , but what stories you will have to tell about the 1/2 day you gave up being Simon 🙂 lol ! Love to you Shelley as you release yourself of fear and quite possibly find that lack of control,though a foreign concept can actually be uplifting….. Enjoy your day ! As always I loved your topic keep em coming ! Blessings to you Reenie 😉

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