I was a really good mom… before I actually HAD MY OWN kids.
It was so easy for me to let other people know what they were doing wrong in the child-rearing department. And I did. I let them know.
Then, it hit me. Kid Karma!
- Phase I Raising Young Children
- Phase II Raising College-Aged Kids
- Phase III
I thought I was done.
I thought I’d been through all the stages… from no rest to empty nest.
Ok, I knew I wasn’t ever going to be c o m p l e t e l y done. But I imagined by now that I’d be spending more time on my life than worrying about their lives.
- Phase IV Realizing I’m not done
I only have myself to blame here. My kids are doing fine; they don’t need me worrying about them so much. I just can’t seem to resign from the job of
Since leaving the nest, (and reading her manual),
Allie has since graduated college, joined the world of working professionals, and is living a good, post-college, pre-real-life life in Syracuse. She is only a short, 2 hour trip from ‘home.’ No worries! Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-in, her life is simply a click away for me. I still worry about her, just in a long distance/out of sight-out of mind, electronic kinda way.
Lauren, a college student, left the nest this past summer (with her manual). She and her fiance, Joel, an avid outdoorsman, live a mile or so down the road.
She loves the perks of her new independence, combined with the convenience and comforts of her former life…just down the road: Her childhood home…just down the road. Complete with a mom who often invites her over for dinner, offers to pick a few things up for her at Wegmans, delivers coffee almost daily, and drops off the Sunday newspaper…
-for her convenience.
Being the baby of the family, Lauren has always had the easier life.
Says Allie. With much conviction.
Yet now that Lauren is living local and enjoys the perks of proximity
those perks have their pitfalls as well.
I can’t help that I drive right past Lauren’s house on my way. Anywhere. Everyday.
I can’t help remarking on what they put out on the curb for trash day.
I can’t help glaring at the sidewalk that should be shoveled. Yesterday
I can’t help texting her to ask why she’s home when I thought she had to work.
I can’t ignore the fact that she left their Christmas lights on all night. Again
I just can’t help myself.
I was such a good empty-nester mom before my kids actually flew the coop. For years I prepared.
I watched other families go through Phase IV. It was so easy for me to let other people know what they were doing wrong in the empty nest department. And I did. I let them know.
So now, I need to know!
Where is my manual?
Maybe something a bit kinder? Like…
“How not to stalk your children when they move out.”