I was Just in the Neighborhood…

I was a really good mom… before I actually HAD MY OWN kids. 

It was so easy for me to let other people know what they were doing wrong in the child-rearing department.  And I did.  I let them know.

Then, it hit me. Kid Karma!

  • Phase I Raising Young Children 
  • Phase  II Raising College-Aged Kids
  • Phase III Raising Young Adults

I thought I was done. 

I thought I’d been through all the stages… from no rest to empty nest. 

Ok, I knew I wasn’t ever going to be c o m p l e t  e l y done.  But I imagined by now that I’d be spending more time on my life than worrying about their lives.

  • Phase IV Realizing I’m not done

I only have myself to blame here.  My kids are doing fine; they don’t need me worrying about them so much.  I just can’t seem to resign from the job of smothering mothering.

 

Since leaving the nest,  (and reading her manual),

Allie has since graduated college, joined the world of working professionals, and is living a good, post-college, pre-real-life life in Syracuse.   She is only a short, 2 hour  trip from ‘home.’ No worries! Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-in, her life is simply a click away for me.  I still worry about her, just in a long distance/out of sight-out of mind, electronic kinda way.

Lauren, a college student, left the nest this past summer (with her manual).  She and her fiance, Joel, an avid outdoorsman, live a mile or so down the road.  

 

The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing

She loves the perks of her new independence, combined with the convenience and comforts of her former life…just down the road:  Her childhood home…just down the road.  Complete with a mom who often invites her over for dinner, offers to pick a few things up for her at Wegmans, delivers coffee almost daily, and drops off the Sunday newspaper…

-for her convenience. 

 How convenient?

Being the baby of the family, Lauren has always had the easier life.

Says Allie.  With much conviction.

 Yet now that Lauren is living local and enjoys the perks of proximity

 Allie may soon realize…

 those perks have their pitfalls as well.

I can’t help that I drive right past Lauren’s house on my way.  Anywhere.  Everyday.

I can’t help remarking on what they put out on the curb for trash day.

I can’t help glaring at the sidewalk that should be shoveled.  Yesterday

I can’t help texting her to ask why she’s home when I thought she had to work.

I can’t ignore the fact that she left their Christmas lights on all night. Again

I just can’t help myself. 

 I was such a good empty-nester mom before my kids actually flew the coop.  For years I prepared. 

 I watched other families go through Phase IV.  It was so easy for me to let other people know what they were doing wrong in the empty nest department.  And I did.  I let them know.

So now, I need to know!

Where is my manual? 

Ouch…

 

Maybe something a bit kinder?   Like…

“How not to stalk your children when they move out.”

 
 
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About tuesday2

My husband tells me I talk too much. I tell him that I have a lot to say. Here’s the solution… Welcome to my blog!
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3 Responses to I was Just in the Neighborhood…

  1. Pingback: Does your mom stalk you too? « Mind Overload

  2. I’m not nearly in Phase IV yet, but I can sure sympathize! Thanks for a good read!

  3. reenie says:

    Hahahhahah Shelley too funny ! I am sure that your girls both appreaciate you and where you are at be it right down the road or a couple of hours away……. It is nice to have a mom who cares and is interested-(of course I am one of those moms-) My nest is not empty yet and won’t be for quite sometime…… I can only imagine – Enjoy your new phase and the manual – save it for me I am sure I will need it as well 🙂 Love to you !!!!!

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