Pudding Priorities in Place.

I teach children to read and write.

But, on a perfect day-

…I teach them how to do their best to make things right.

On an even better day-

…They show me how to teach.

I’m a teacher.

My job really is child’s play: minus the piles of paperwork.

I’ve been a teacher since the day my own children were born.

Parents are the best teachers.  The first teachers.

I just wish I could have a do-over.  Sometimes.

My daughters are grown, independent, contributing members of society, and most important: they have GRIT.

That makes the mom in me very happy.

That makes the teacher in me wonder.

  • Enter now:  Mom guilt

I can’t accept compliments about what a great job I did raising my girls..  I can’t take the credit.  They have good genes.  They have GRIT. They did a lot of that growing on their own.

I worked two (and sometimes three) jobs when they were young.

I did what I thought a mom should to do.

Photo courtesy of Lauren …circa 1995

I taught them to tie their shoes and ride a bike.

I made sure they brushed their teeth before bed.

So my do-over wish?

As a teacher, I now see how much more I

Could’ve done.

Would’ve done.

Should’ve  done.

Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve done… with my own children all those years ago.

If I knew better.  All those years ago.

All those years ago, I stressed too much about folding the mounds of color-coded laundry piles,

Art work from Allie on Mother’s Day 1993

cleaning chocolate homemade pudding, (the kind that comes in a little plastic cup), off the kitchen ceiling, and vacuuming the pristine playroom.

As a teacher, the classroom is a bit of a playroom.  (Minus the paperwork).

A playroom for serious learning.

Not for serious stressing.

We often eat in our classroom.  I don’t worry out loud about the grape jelly embedded on the reading rug.  I walk past the mismatched mittens.  I  enjoy watching the kids rummage through shelves of books that have not been categorized by anyone but an eager-to-read-gotta- find -the- perfect -book five-year-old.

    • Enter now: Reality

 

Sometimes I think I am a better teacher because I was a mom first.

I learned how fast those mom days can go by.

Sometimes I believe that I would’ve been a better mom if I was a teacher first.

I am learning the value of prioritizing.  Housework…and even homework can wait.

Kids can’t wait.  And they don’t.  And they shouldn’t.

I can’t get a do-over with my own kids.

They couldn’t wait for me to learn how to do it all ‘right’.  They grew up while I was cleaning.

    • End now: Regrets

 

There are no do-overs.

The proof is in the pudding, as my dad would say.  My children grew up just fine, and so will yours.

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About tuesday2

My husband tells me I talk too much. I tell him that I have a lot to say. Here’s the solution… Welcome to my blog!
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9 Responses to Pudding Priorities in Place.

  1. KatieFeldmom says:

    WOW! Great post. When I was pregnant my mom gave me a framed needlepoint and told me to follow the rules, even though she did not follow the rules. Which she regrets to this day.

    “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ’till tomorrow, for babies grow up, much to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.”

    In the past month I’ve had to remind myself of this … trying to be Superwoman is not for me.

  2. reenie says:

    As a homeschooling mom I understand what you are saying …but let me tell you there is always MOM GUILT , no matter the choices you make – IF you believe that you could have , should have would have done it this way, or that way , if you had known……but that is all apart of being a mom, isn’t it? We are human we will make mistakes and they, our children, are human too they will forgive us those mistakes….. or at least I hope they will . We can stress about so many things :did we clean too much , play too much ( I often wondered – when my kids would say ” But mom that’s not fun”) Were the school curriculums done to my complete satisfaction, was I too fanatical about all the I’s being dotted and the T’s being crossed…was I too hard on them for making them learn how to do their own laundry at 10, dishes, vacuuming and dusting at earlier appropriate ages? Was I kind enough? ~ I sure hope so ….but alas those days are gone….never to come again (this is why I am doing things a little different with Trace)- but alas my girls say I am a different mom with him and it is so ! They are correct – I actually get to try it diffferently with him and I am embracing it – (at times he is not ! ) It is true that parents are the first teachers and I believe we are also the last teachers – even when we don’t realize it we as grown adults are still watching the way our parents do things and we may copy it or drastically change the pattern – even so we are still being taught…My grandmother died at 93, I learned some of my best lessons from her when I was a mom (maybe I wasn’t teachable earlier~ ahhh revelation 🙂 ) ….. Our children will make their own mistakes and we will watch and we may learn some from them and also teach them as well…. Still I believe you are right , Shelley, there are no do- overs ….BUT maybe that is what Grands are for 😉 lol !!!! Blessing to you Shelley (you have 2 fine ones ! ) “Children are a blessing from the Lord …..” ❤ you girl !

  3. Dad says:

    You should be so proud of the Girls. I know that I am! I also know that because of your GREAT teaching gift that you have, you will bring out their God given gifts and they will cherish fond memories of their teacher.

    I am super proud of you and your sister, probably to the point that my friends are sick of me bragging about you. TOUGH! That’s what friends are for.

    LOVE YA,

    dad

  4. Bella says:

    That was a beautiful post which I believe which touch a nerve with most moms. I too am guilty of having to work hard as a teacher to raise my children as a single mom and I too place a large emphasis on cleaning. Order meant chaos was under control; cleaning was the perfect tool to achieve this. As a result, I have raised a daughter who is just like me, lover or order, organized, in pursuit of visual harmony, and a son who is the complete opposite. I sincerely don’t know what to make of that. That said, I’m happy to have given my children the tools to act in the way they choose.

    • tuesday2 says:

      Bella, Thank you for a perfect summary of my cleaning compulsion! 😀

      “Order meant chaos was under control; cleaning was the perfect tool to achieve this.”

      True!

  5. Great post! Moms and teachers definitely have to be adept at pudding priorities in place.

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